Why do guys come up to you after a ride and make statements like, "I'd ride next to you any time! Even side by side! You don't waver. You stay in your lane. You ride like a 'rider.' Etc."
Do you guys say that kind of stuff to each other? If not, what makes you think you need to say that crap to a female rider?
Personally, I find statements like these to me insulting. It takes every ounce of discipline on my part to just smile and politely say 'thank you' while shooting them with daggers from my eyes. These guys are not so great riders themselves. They can't hold their position in a group ride for nothing. Does anyone else besides me find it irritating to ride next to someone who see saws? Then there's the one who drops down on a curve. I don't say anything to them about their riding skills. Why is it necessary for them to make comments about mine? Seriously, I don't know what to say back to them. Anybody got any good come backs?
Even female passangers who come up to me and start drilling me about how awesome it is I ride my own...Isn't it scarey?...Do you do your own maintenance? (when I open my tool bag to help another rider) drives me nuts!
Maybe I just have too many buttons that are too easily pushed or just too sensitive for my own good. For those who don't know me, I've been riding on/off now for about 40 yrs. I am trying not to be a snob but seriously, is this necessary guys? Help a gal out here guys - I just wanna ride with you - I don't need to be critiqued by you.
Interesting points...... I cant ever remember complimenting another rider on their "skills." I have, however, ridden with enough people that do NOT know what that they are doing to realize some people have it and some don't. There are very few people I will trust to go "side by side" with..... Too dangerous with the wrong people. Deadly in fact.
If I were to walk up to a girl and compliment her on her "riding skills" it would be my way of "breaking the ice." I usually have better "lines" than that though..... ;)
I think the females that comment are genuinely impressed that you ride! It's a compliment. It's (riding alone) is not for everyone. You should be proud! :)
I usually don't ride side-by-side unless I know their skills. When riding with a group I don't know, I usually ride staggared, 1-2 count. It was kinda funny on this ride. When we 1st started out, I was riding the "Missing Man' position. That happens a lot on group rides for some reason. By time we got to our 1st stop and I pulled in alongside another bike and while backing up, I 'cracked' to him that I stink at reverse (really, I do, even in a car) as a joke. He said he'd help me any time. Then he started in on the skill critique and compared me to other guy riders. I told him he'd be suprised what I did with my bike and told him how I rode 7500 miles last year. He scoffed and said that ain't many miles for a summer. Then I told him, that was one trip and walked away. After that, I avoided conversation with him at all stops. Interestingly enough, after that stop, no one had an issue of riding by me, staggared or otherwise.
I have to be honest, I am clueless when a guy is hitting on me unless he's using a baseball bat or, in this case, a helmet. Asking me if you can ride with me sometime or go for coffee I would recognize as a hit. Complimenting me on my skills, not so much.
I am trying to be a better person and rider by trying not to be rude to gals who gush on. I really don't know what to say to them. There's no way to have a conversation. The only thing ya can really say is a polite "thank you' and walk off.
As for riding alone, did you mean riding alone as in riding my own bike or riding alone as in riding solo? Oh duh, it would have to be riding my own. How would she know I ride solo? Sometimes, I am so not with it. lol
Thank you for your perspective (and compliment)! I really am trying to see things from another viewpoint other than my own.
PS. Maybe I'm too proud, eh?
Your welcome! Being proud is not a bad thing..... :)
Funny you bring this up cause my GF says the same thing to other girl riders occasionally. Some take it as a compliment, some are put off by it I think. My GF says it cause she is impressed with girls that ride. Nothing more than that. She is building up the confidence to get her own soon and finds discussing it with other girls reassuring.
Thank you for the info Johnny. Please let your g/f know that how she approaches a female rider isn't any different from approaching a male rider. Just because we're both females it doesn't make an instant connection. She should introduce herself, offer her hand in a firm handshake, and then ask if it's all right to ask questions. Ask me how long have I've been riding or how did I get started. Don't gush at me at how much she admires me because I ride my own. Tell her to be straight up about her situation. Any female rider worth her salt will encourage her to take the riders course, sit on a lot of bikes (go used if possible) and for heavens sake, find some one else other than the b/f, husband or significant other to work with her the 1st few times on her bike. I don't care how understanding or patient the guy (or gal) is, she will ultimately end up getting too nervous, make mistakes, and feel so bad that the whole bike experience becomes a fight and unpleasant for the both of you. Get a fellow rider that she knows is good (to her) and have them work with her the 1st few times. More often than not, I will offer to work with her the 1st few times until she feels confident enough to ride it on the main streets. Not many take up the offer.
Telling me that it is 'totally awesome I ride my own' or how brave I am, etc. is off-putting. I still don't 'get' why it is so impressive a gal rides her own. To me it's no different than driving my own car, bicycle, mo-ped, trike, etc. I can tell you this tho, I noted I was being a bit 'rude' to a gal who did what your g/f probably does. I ran into her in the ladies room afterwards and apologized for being rude & explained why. We ended up having a great time together for the rest of the ride. I am learning as well to be a bit more patient.
Good luck to your g/f. I'm more than happy to answer any of her questions!!
I have had similar comments made to me as well. I usually brush them off unless the word "babe", "baby", "cutie", etc. is included. At that point, I ignore them. What pisses me off is that when they say that its like they are surprised that a girl can ride as well as a guy. I feel like telling them to fuck off most of the time. I ride with girls most of the time anyway. :)
Yeah, it's irks me too when they tell me I ride as good as any guy. How stupid of a statement is that? I wish I had a comeback for it other than FU. I'm usually not one for name calling like that. I prefer a nice subtle dig. Maybe I could say, 'Thank you! I wish more guys rode like me too!
"Thank you! I wish more guys rode like me too!" That's PERFECT! LOL! :)
Most guys that patronize you/me like that are doche bags! Trying to hit on you maybe...? I ignore them until they become a nuisance then tell the to fuck off. Literally. Riding next to someone is like putting your life in THEIR hands. One slip up or over reaction on their part and you are both going down. I NEVER ride like that with someone I don't know or trust which brings it down to a few people at best. I rarely have a female passenger talk to me about riding. I'm not the most approachable person on the planet. ;) And trust me, I have many buttons that can be pushed easily too and it has nothing to do with being sensitive. You, just like me I am certain, just love to ride and don't need to hear any "atta boy" or "good girl" comments from anyone. Next time tell them exactly what you told us. "Ive been riding 40 years and know what I'm doing! Now leave me alone!" :)
True...they usually are not all that cute and by the end of the ride they're wasted. Like you, I don't come across as the most approachable. Maybe they're just stymied. Afterall, what can you say to an older woman who rides better than you and isn't a loud mouth jerk? :)
Actually, I kinda did tell a couple of guys on the ride that I started riding at about age 19. Their comeback was...that was only a couple of years ago, right? No. They don't take me serioiusly. It's really hard when you're 4'10 inches, ride a softtail that most people can't figure out if it's a fat boy or a ST delux or what, and ya don't look Barbie.
I am going to have to figure out a good comeback is all. But I'm starting to think the line "Thank you, wish more guys rode like me too." is going to be the one. :)
Be extra careful while out on the roads this year hun. There have been way too many m/c accidents already so early in the riding season.
Hugs Dudette!! lol!!
I like the "I wish more guys rode like me" line too! :)
"buttons" or not, its easy to get pissed when people are judging your riding abilities. Not sure if I agree that its a way to hit on you either. The female passenger conversations are frustrating to me as well. And the "see-sawing" thang....? VERY frustrating and potentially deadly. I give people one chance. If they do something stupid like that, I fall back. Unfortunately, the one chance I give them may bite me in the ass some day.