Laughter all Round

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Jokes, funny stories and lots of funny quips to make us ALL smile, laugh and ROTFL. Keep it clean, clean out all of the smut...."WIT NOT SHIT"

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Latest Activity: Apr 2

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THE AUSSIE THUNDABOX

(where politicians are bred)

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,
If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.

They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,
There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.

They were given many names, some were even funny,
But to most of us, we knew them as the outhouse or the dunny.

I've seen some of them all gussied up, with painted doors and all,
But it really made no difference, they were just a port of call.

Now my old man would take a bet, he'd lay an even pound,
That you wouldn't make the dunny with them turkeys hangin' round.

They had so many uses, these buildings out the back,"
You could even hide from mother, so you wouldn't get the strap.

That's why we had good cricketers, never mind the bumps,
We used the pathway for the wicket and the dunny door for stumps.

Now my old man would sit for hours, the smell would rot your socks,
He read the daily back to front in that good old thunderbox.

And if by chance that nature called sometime through the night,
You always sent the dog in first, for there was no flamin' light.

And the dunny seemed to be the place where crawlies liked to hide,
But never ever showed themselves until you sat inside.

There was no such thing as Sorbent, no tissues there at all,
Just squares of well read newspaper, a hangin' on the wall.

If you had some friendly neighbours, as neighbours sometimes are,
You could sit and chat to them, if you left the door ajar.

When suddenly you got the urge, and down the track you fled,
Then of course the magpies were there to peck you on your head.

Then the time there was a wet, the rain it never stopped,
If you had an urgent call, you ran between the drops.

The dunny man came once a week, to these buildings out the back,
And he would leave an extra can, if you left for him a zac.

For those of you who've no idea what I mean by a zac,
Then you're too young to have ever had, a dunny out the back.

A zac was a sixpence coin before decimal currency came into Australia in 1966

Comment

Comment by SprocketrocketUK on August 10, 2012 at 5:42am: My mother in law ended up in hospital this morning after a big wasp landed on her head.

Luckily I got it with my shovel before it could sting her.

Comment by Gail on August 1, 2012 at 6:50am: Sons of Arthritis....? LOL!!!!!!! That's a good one. :)

Comment by Henry Kurt Krauss on July 31, 2012 at 3:27am: I´m probably not much good at jokes but here goes. There were two guys standing out in the yard at an insane assylum. So a segull fly´s overhead and drops a crap on the one guys head (yuk) So the gaurd sees this and runs off to the building saying I´ll get some toilet paper So the one crazy guy with the crap on his head says to the other they think were crazy but hes crazy because by the time he gets back that birds gonna be miles away! HaaaaHaaaaaa

Comment by Caryle Smith on July 1, 2012 at 11:01pm: Another sign of global warming!

Comment by Caryle Smith on April 2, 2012 at 6:30am: This one is not funny but poignant:

2 85 year olds are getting a divorce. The atorney is puzzled and asks them why now? The wife pipes up, well, we were just waiting for the kids to die...............It's a different world.

Comment by Caryle Smith on April 2, 2012 at 6:28am: Bacteria walks into a bar, the bartender says, we don't serve your kind here..the bacteria states, why not, half my staph is here!

corny, I know.

Comment by Sinner Steve on January 12, 2012 at 1:27am: A JOKE I HEARD A WILE BACK...STEVE JUST GOT HIS BIKE BACK FRO THA SHOP WHERE IT GOT A SWEET CUSTOM PAINT JOB. THE SHOP OWNER HANDED STEVE A JAR OF VASILENE AND TOLD HIM "IF IT RAINS TO APPLY A THIN LAYER TO THA PAINT SO THA RAIN DOESNT DAMAGE IT ." SO THAT NIGHT STEVE AND HIS GIRL ARE SAPOSED TO GO TO HER PARENTS HOUSE FOR DINNER AND THEY TAKE THA BIKE..AT THE DOOR BEFORE THEY GO IN STEVES GIRL SAYS

' OK SO MY MOM AND DAD HAVE THIS RULE. WE DONT TALK ..AT ALL.. DURING DINNER, THE FIRST PERSON WHO TALKS HAS TO DO THA ALL THE DISHES.

SO ABOUT HALF WAY THROUGH DINNER NOBODY HAS SAID A SINGLE WORD. STEVE DECIDES TO PUT THA RULE TO THA TEST ...HE STARTS PLAYING WITH HIS GIRLS TITS THEN LOOKS AROUND....NOT A SINGLE WORD..

SO STEVE DECIDES TO GO ONE STEP FARTHER AND BENDS HIS OL LADY OVER THA TABLE AND STARTS GOING TO TOWN ON HER ...STILL NOT A SINGLE WORD..

SO DECIDING TO GO EVEN FURTHER, STEVE TAKES HIS OL LADYS MOM, BEND HER OVER THA TABLE, LIFTS HER SKIRT AND STARTS POUNDING HER LIKE A PORN STAR! THEN HE FINISHES AND SITS BACK DOWN TO DINNER

NOBODY SAYS A WORD!!

AFTER A FEW MORE MINUTS STEVE HEARS A CLAP OF THUNDER OUTSIDE..REMEMBERING WHAT THA SHOP OWNER SAID ..STEVE QUIETLY STANDS UP AND TAKES THE JAR OF VASILENE OUT OF THA POCKET OF HIS CUTS ..

SUDDENLY THA DAD JUMPS OUT OF HIS CHAIR AND YELLS .. FUCK THAT ILL DO THA FUCKIN DISHES!!!